woke up on the wrong side of the bed

I guess I’ve forgotten how hard it is to get out of my comfort zone and start something new for the sake of my so-called brighter future. To stay forever inside the zone is the last thing I want for myself. But sometimes I feel I just can’t stand the pain of struggling to fit myself into the new mold.

And just now, in the middle of the tough process, I looked back and my “comfy” past seemed to pull me back and spellbind me, gently persuade me to end the fight.

I know I have to stay on remolding myself. But I feel so insecure. I want to stay in my used-to-be-happy life without have to think about my future whatsoever.

Just like the quote says, I want to work like I don’t need money. Want to dance like no one sees me. Want to sing like no one hears me. Want to love like I’ve never been hurt. Most of all, I want to love anybody I want to love without have to think about anything else, especially the future. Coz that’s what makes me live like this was Heaven on Earth, at least for this very moment…

But then, I realize that “now” will soon be “yesterday” and eventually I’ll be in the “future”.

*sigh*

All I really need is a determination.